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December 15, 2020 / 1280 x 1280 px

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Sometimes I wonder what my younger self would say

Sometimes I wonder what my younger self would say if she met my present self. Would she be happy with how she grew up? Is this how she envisioned herself and her life to be like? What turned out unexpectedly than imagined?

Has your younger self ever thought to yourself, "If only I could be/have... I would..."? Back then, I remember thinking to myself, "If only I could start working, I would be able to earn a stable income"; If only I could drive now, I would be able to conveniently transport myself to farther away places"; and "If only I could become a teacher, I could be closer to accomplishing my goal." These thoughts encouraged me to work hard to reach such milestones, but now that I'm here, I recognize that it's easy to get caught up in the next "shiny" thing ahead once the present excitement fades out and a new set of problems settle in (e.g., full-time work means less time, being able to drive means paying for gas, etc.).

Instead of discontentment from always looking ahead, perhaps what my younger self would have wanted for my current self is to really just be grateful for where I am and what I have right now. Part of the "now" is what I used to pray and dream about.

Additionally, when I look back in retrospect, there are things I miss now that I once had too, with youth and time being the two biggest ones. Those two things are priceless. Desiring to exchange those for what I had originally thought was "better" was naive of me because ultimately, there is no "better." I am learning what we have in the moment is sometimes already the best. It's more so how we make of it. 💫

What is something you have now that you used to want? Take the time to celebrate it and hold it close. 💛 Time moves so quickly. We never know what the future will give and take.

Death by Design The flame of a candle is no more

Death by Design

The flame of a candle is no more
once it's blown out
and the glow of a sparkler fizzles out
when it has reached its end.
A leaf turns brown,
deteriorates, and withers;
it bids its branch farewell
before it gently descends.
Flowers bloom in beauty
but eventually discolour and wilt.
They do not promise eternal youth,
for every living thing has its time.
The shining sun will burn out,
environments will change,
and what we'll recall later on will
only be memories of their prime.
In short, many things are
temporary, fleeting, momentary,
and without explanation,
will experience death.
Even ideas, concepts,
opinions, views, and the like
can die or evolve into
something else on our breaths.
But what do we do when
what dies are our dreams —
a fetus, person, state of mind,
security, health, or a goal?
Do we continue chasing after it
or let nature run its course?
Do we let it fade or do we
let it take control of our soul?
Some say not all dreams
are meant to come true,
but the loss is meant to redirect
us to the ultimate design.
Is this what it means
to be refined?

"When you’re lost in the dark with no stars to wish on, when life is like a black and white film void of all color, when gravestones take the place of your goals–always remember, the seed that you thought had died will grow into a tree." 🌱

I could not stop staring at these rocks as I made

I could not stop staring at these rocks as I made my way across this area, which had felt like a hideout or a secret spot overlooking the ocean. Their shapes, holes, textured edges, and formation intrigued me: they are so naturally beautiful! 🤍 Despite the challenges they might face from the environment or weather, these rocks stand steady and solid. At every corner, I was able to see the expansive ocean from a different angle. If I am honest, perhaps I was also waiting for Reepicheep to come out and greet me from the Dawn Treader. :)

It's hard to believe that it's already mid-January

It's hard to believe that it's already mid-January now. Time sure seems to pass by faster and faster with each year. I've been trying to slow down time by processing this past year by looking through my journal entries and photos. It has made me realize just how much has happened this year: I went on many adventurous trips, explored new places, had a meaningful year of teaching, welcomed a long-awaited visit from my cousins, and witnessed and celebrated big milestones of my friends and family. I had started off the year with no expectations, but it ended up exceeding my expectations. It has truly been a year of abundance.

In many ways, though, last year was also the end of an era. Because of that, this year feels especially new. With the end of an era comes the beginning of an era and an opportunity for me to become a new version of myself. This past year, I've learned that it's not the changes in itself that I resist and am afraid of. In fact, one of my biggest fears is being stagnant and not experiencing any growth. It's the person I will become because of the change that I am more unsure about. I hope this year, however, I can be more open to sitting in the changes that will come my way while relying on God and then allowing those moments or events to shape me.

I'm grateful for the ones who have stayed by my side no matter the era, and I look forward to diving into an ocean of new possibilities, opportunities, connections, and dreams. 🌊☀️✨🙂

This past week, a friend asked me what happiness m

This past week, a friend asked me what happiness means to me. While considering this question, I recalled moments where I felt happiness and realized that happiness does not always feel like a jumping-for-joy type of excitement for me, nor does it only occur when I feel motivated about living. Happiness is feeling content with where I'm at without a worry or a doubt, whether that be the people I'm with or the activity I'm doing. It's a state of mind and outlook that leans more towards the definition of joy, one that is independent of external factors and environment. Happiness isn't always the easiest to obtain or maintain, but it isn't hard to find at the same time.

I hope that you may find many moments of happiness this new year. ✨ As cliché as it sounds, life is a journey and not a destination. We climb mountains only to climb more mountains, so why not make the most of the climb by savouring what and who are around us. 🤍

In addition to the bustling cities and delicious n

In addition to the bustling cities and delicious night market food stalls, Taiwan is also known for their astounding natural places. Climbing on top of Elephant Mountain offers a wonderful view of both of these landscapes at once, and I was given the opportunity to appreciate it when I visited the country a few summers ago. It was mesmerizing to watch the sun slowly dip behind the city. Other photographers must have enjoyed the same thing too, as there was a whole group of them, locals and foreigners, crowded at the top with their professional cameras and fancy tripods. It was busy behind-the-scenes!

This series of photos remind me of two of my favourite things about Taiwan - their overlapping hills, luscious with greenery, and the trees, specifically the Taiwania cryptomerioides and the tropical palm trees. 🌿🌴 They are uniquely Taiwan. ❤️ A brief sight of them always makes me think of the motherland. 💭 🇹🇼

Recently, I've been trying to figure out my style

Recently, I've been trying to figure out my style of photography. My newsfeed is filled with photos of picture perfect places or of influencers escaping to magical looking locations. As much as I love viewing them, I found myself comparing my photos to theirs a lot. I later realized that perhaps our photos just communicate different things and that it's okay. I love storytelling and so the intention of most of my photography has been to capture an emotion or a memory attached to a story. Photos that mean the most to me are often ones that either speak a thousand words or can elicit a whirl of emotions. And so it is with these photos that @joyceycchang and I attempted to capture: they remind us of summer, youth, anticipation, vigor, and our other home. They also remind me of how good it had felt ascending Elephant Mountain and why I enjoy hiking. In the moment of, I feel like I'm dying and all I can think about is when I'm going to reach the top, but once I do, the grand vista in front of me becomes evidence of how worth it the process is. Hiking has taught me to focus on the present - to be grateful for the fresh air that I inhale, for my healthy lungs when I exhale, for my strong legs that take me up the mountain, and to appreciate how raw and beautiful nature is. It challenges me to push past my mental blocks and to practice endurance and perseverance, knowing that I will eventually reach my destination if I just keep on going. 💫

Here are a few snaps of my cousins and I taking rest breaks from time to time during our hike to dry off our sweat and admire the view. ☀️⛰️📷 Read the blog post linked in my bio for the full adventure! ☺️

Here are a few snaps from the beginning of our hik

Here are a few snaps from the beginning of our hike up Elephant Mountain taken by myself and my collab partner, @joyceycchang . 📷 They are of the green space and interesting looking trees we saw at the trailhead and of moments we enjoyed even before our hike started. This day was one of my favourite days from when I last visited Taiwan because of the family who I got to spend it with. Despite living halfway across the world, I'm confident that our hearts remain close together. 🤍

Check out my new blog post, "A Day With the Cousins (Exploring Xinyi and Hiking Elephant Mountain)!! ☺️⛰️ You can find the link in my bio. I'm excited about its release and can't wait for you to join me in recounting this fulfilling day. 🥰✨ What is a memorable experience you've had visiting family in your homeland?

My sister and I organized a day trip in Chilliwack

My sister and I organized a day trip in Chilliwack for my mom's birthday a few years ago and the Sunflower Festival was one of the main events. My mom loves flowers and often refers to the potted plants she grows in our garden as her "flower daughters." As I grow older, her love for greenery has grown my interest in the untamed nature of the wild, including flowers. One of my favourite flowers among others is the sunflower. 🌻 The sunflower and I have two things in common: we both prefer 6-8 hours of sunlight each day and we tend to turn our heads/eyes towards the light. ☀️✨ As I explored fields of sunflowers that day with my family (with the gorgeous BC mountains in the background), my heart felt happy and freee! 🥰 This family day is one I cherish. I neither accomplished anything major nor did I reach a breakthrough or anything of the like, but I did have a very fun day with people I love and that felt like a "milestone" in itself. ☺️

What is a moment you mark as a "milestone," not because of the standards a milestone is most often associated with but simply because it was one where you felt content to be where you were currently in life? Remember this moment. Perhaps, we need to start evaluating our days differently and not against someone else's highlights or the common metric of success and milestones. Even if our days may seem ordinary, they make up the greater picture, the years of which we live, which shouldn't be seen as years independent of each other but as ones connected to previous years and what will prepare us for the years yet to come.🍃

In my latest blog post, I share about one the biggest milestones I've reached so far (and will always still be in the process of doing so). I hope it reminds you that your every day matter in the larger picture. 🤍

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